To be perfect is something that society and many individuals think is more important than anything else on earth.  All problems associated with burn-out, depression and stress are only symptoms of the real cause.

So many of us try to do everything perfectly to fit in.  Maybe we think that if we do everything perfectly, we will not get criticism and comments from others.  But really we are more or less afraid of being criticized by others, rather than from ourselves, which eats us up from the inside with our struggle to fit in, in all situations.

It is often a feeling that grinds and grinds deeply in the silence that one is not good enough.  You do not notice this feeling in your consciousness as long as you are doing everything perfectly.  But the stress you are carrying, to keep everything under control and doing everything perfectly, creates stress-related conditions that sooner or later will harm your health. 

It is like a ticking bomb, ready to explode at any time.  Often the bomb explodes when you make a mistake on the perfect surface. Bang! All of the hidden feelings, of being not good enough, come up to the surface, after being well hidden, deep within our sub consciousness. 

Suddenly everything collapses and you need outside help to find yourself again.  The key is not that you must rest without finding the reasons why you must be perfect in all situations.  When you have discovered the reasons and created a more positive self-image, the stress symptoms disappear like a leaf in the wind.

Here are four tips to being good enough:

1. Find out what your parents tried or are trying to do to show a perfect image
2. What you see in their perfectionism, that you have acquired through habits, you will pass on the same habits to your children and so on and so on.  What habits do you want to change when you see and hear this?
3. Put yourself in situations where you will be guaranteed to get criticism from yourself or others.  For example, not washing the car or ironing a shirt.
4. When you get that raw feeling that you are not good enough when you do it, just let the feeling increase and let it stay until it does not have power over you anymore.  Do not be afraid of the feeling, for it is not dangerous, although often very uncomfortable.

When you meet the internal and external critics in this way, in the end you will not react with a negative feeling anymore.  You feel you are good enough, regardless of what others think. 

Good Luck!

Hans Thorn, Success Coach

http://www.personalcoachingonline.com

Have you ever thought, if you had better self-confidence or self-esteem, that everything would be possible? With enhanced self-esteem and self-confidence, everything is possible!

Then you would be able to realize everything you are dreaming of regarding improving your finances, health and relationships. It is actually true that people with good self-esteem often succeed in life better than others.

What does that depend on?

In order to understand why, then we need to grasp what self-confidence is, what self-esteem is, and the difference between these.

Self-confidence is what you display to other people in the forms of real results with job, career, finances, appearance, etc. Your conscience judgment of what you have accomplished increases or decreases your self-confidence. By obtaining the things you think are fantastic; it creates a certain status for you, increasing your self-confidence.

Self-esteem is an inner unconscious judgment of yourself that reflects your emotional and spiritual balance and presence. Self-esteem is built when you are honest with yourself and your feelings, regardless of external circumstances. It means that you are doing what you really want with your life, and therefore you feel secure and happy with your life.

Many people have good self-confidence, but bad self-esteem, which means that they have accomplished much outer success, but know that they are really not where they want to be in their lives. These individuals can be deeply unhappy; although it appears that they have everything. Look at the vast majority of pop stars, elite athletes and heads of companies whom fall under this category.

Then you have those who have a good self-esteem, but bad self-confidence. They can be that unknown artist or environmental activist, who feels deep inside that they are doing right with their lives, but the frustration that they can not get their message out to a greater audience, makes it so they will never experience good self-confidence.

The ideal is of course, to have a balance between good self-confidence and good self-esteem. There you have a person in balance whom succeeds outwardly, but whom also has balance inside themselves. There you can count in certain pop stars, elite athletes and heads of companies. But since they have balance within themselves, you can see and feel that this success is authentic on all levels. But keep in mind that good self-confidence comes and goes, while good self-esteem is an internal decision about what you do with your life, which exists as long as you are honest with yourself.

How can you get better self-confidence and self-esteem?

Here are seven ways to go about this:

1. Live the life you actually want to have, so as to increase your self-esteem
2. See to it that you personally decide over your life, which increases your self-esteem
3. By being a floor mop for others, it breaks down your self-esteem, Do not accept that!
4. Create success outwardly, so that you strengthen your self-confidence
5. Combine strong self-esteem with strong self-confidence, so that you succeed
6. It is not important where you start; everything can be fixed no matter how hopeless it looks
7. Do not compare yourself with others. Instead, create your own future within (and outside) yourself

Good Luck!

Hans Thorn, Success Coach

http://www.personalcoachingonline.com